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By BRENDA I’ve recently gotten onto a trend of choosing self-care as a way of self-love.
And honestly?
I can’t help but be proud of myself each day I choose to be intentional about how I love myself.
They say, how you love yourself is how you show others how to love you.
It’s true.
But it takes time, intention, and effort.
It’s about not waiting for others to show up for you — but deciding to show up for yourself.
For me, this means choosing to be present and indulging in activities I enjoy, in the most loving way possible.
In this blog, I’m sharing twelve ways how I carry main character energy in my life series.
From brewing coffee to listening to Maddox while cleaning up — and how each of these little acts helps me practice self-love.
Maybe, an idea or two will resonate with you to bring into your own story.
1. Brewing My Coffee – A Morning Ritual
Coffee has become part and parcel of my routine — and I can’t do without it.
So whenever I make it, I do it connoisseur-style.
When sipping, I choose a spot that grounds me in the experience: maybe a balcony bathed in morning light or a window where I can watch the sunrise.
That’s how I start my day in the most present way possible — watching nature quietly shift its colors.
If you’re more of a tea person, or even a katogo girlie, you can intentionally indulge in your own ritual and make it a moment worth romanticizing.
2. Ugandan Soul Music – Turning Chores into Vibes
I don’t know if Maddox Ssematimba or Kenneth Mugabi were thinking of me when they chose to be artists, but their music does something magical.
It centres me.
It makes the work doable, even on low-energy days.
Mundane tasks like doing dishes or tidying my environment suddenly feel lighter when I let Ugandan soul music carry me through.
It’s a way of loving on myself — creating vibes where there could’ve been monotony.
3. Solo Dates – Redefining My Worth
Going on a date with a special someone is a lovely experience.
But preparing the same way — facebeat, great outfit, a nice restaurant — and choosing myself as the special someone?
Even more lovely.
When I do so, I do it indulgently: a three-course meal, enjoyed with no distractions, just being fully present.
And doing it because I enjoy it.
This redefines my worth for me.
I don’t have to wait for a special someone to show me love to know what I enjoy.
4. Femininity in the Everyday
When I was younger, my mum always prepared clothes for my siblings and I, with clear categories for when each outfit could be worn.
“Stay-at-home clothes” were always the most worn out, and somehow, that stuck with me as I grew older.
But lately, I’ve shifted.
I choose fragrance even when I’m working from home.
I dress up in comfy yet feminine outfits, with my nails nicely done.
I don’t wait for a special outing to look nice.
I do it every day — because it feels really, really good.
5. Flowers – Reminders to Bloom
The presence of flowers in my environment reminds me of beauty, growth, and blooming at my own pace.
Every flower has a special character that it adds to a room.
Lilies, for example, add both aesthetics and a calming scent to my space.
And roses on the other hand, signify femininity and refinement.
So whenever I can, I spoil myself — whether with a single leaflet or a whole bouquet.
Adding them to my bedside table or a corner of my room always uplifts me.
Flowers are a simple way to bring romance into the everyday.
6. Being Under the Sun
Traveling to countries outside the tropics taught me to appreciate the sun in a whole new way.
During winter, that warm touch of sunlight on the skin feels like a blessing.
Now, no matter where I am — Kampala after rain, a spring day in Naples, or a freezing morning in Cleveland — I find moments to sit under the sun.
Sometimes just five minutes in the morning is enough to soak in Vitamin D and lift my mood.
7. Working From My Favorite Café
Can I mention how a change of environment boosts productivity and creativity?
Science says creativity gets a little boost when you’re surrounded by moderate ambient noise — the hum of a café, the smell of coffee, people moving around.
When I choose a café with an aura I love, it becomes self-love in action.
Add a barista-made coffee, and it’s even better.
That’s me romanticizing my work life — because adding self-love makes the hustle lighter.
8. Cooking a Ugandan Staple – Home in a Plate
I’ve learned from my dad that a meal is not a meal with no matooke on the plate.
And I tell you this is how I have easily preferred matooke to any Ugandan food.
Matooke and fish, especially the head part of fish, mmmmm fingerlicking goodness—that’s my soul’s happy place.
When I’m abroad and homesickness hits, nothing heals like cooking a stew the Ugandan way: vegetable oil first, then onions, tomatoes, green pepper and carrots — and of course, royco mchuzi mix.
That combo feeds my inner child and speaks love to my Ugandan soul.
9. Being in Nature
I’ve found so much peace and calm in the presence of nature.
The stillness invites me to listen to my own mind and body.
I’m always in awe of how plants surrender so effortlessly to the wind, and the sounds that follow.
So whenever I want to return to my center, I’ll choose to run, take a walk, or ride my bike through the exuberance of nature.
And when time allows, watching the sunset by a nearby lake is one of those indulgences I never tire of.
Because you know… it’s calming.
10. Choosing pot water over ordinary boiled water
The earthy taste of pot water—mmmmm.
My ancestors designed a refrigerator-yet-heritage technology: a clay pot that keeps water naturally cool.
And omg, I’m glad they did.
Sure, I could drink boiled water or buy mineral water, but pot water has a flavor that feels like home.
There’s even a commercial brand now—Harmony Water—that makes this heritage accessible countrywide.
It’s such an easy way to love on myself whenever I’m away from home and still craving that soulful taste.
For me, choosing pot water is one of the simplest ways to show myself love in the most soulful way.
11. Journaling – Writing as a form of Release
One of my grounding practices is journaling.
It’s how I listen to my thoughts and separate autopilot conditioning from my most true authentic self.
Sometimes I pour out confusion and attachments; other times I write heartfelt love letters to myself.
Either way, it brings me back to my centre — reminding me of the beautiful spirit within.
And really, why not write yourself a love letter?
12. Lighting scented candles
Who does not love a good scent?
A room filled with fragrance instantly lifts my soul.
With each candle carrying its own mood, I’m always excited to try a new scent for my space.
Sometimes I’ll even give each room its own fragrance—because why not let every corner carry its own vibe?
After all, smelling a different scent every day is good for my brain’s well-being.
Closing Thoughts
Romanticizing life isn’t about pretending everything is perfect.
Or ignoring life’s challenges.
It’s about choosing to notice the beauty in what’s already here.
For me, as a Ugandan girl, it’s coffee at sunrise, matooke on a plate, flowers by my bedside, and Maddox in the background.
For you, it might be something different.
What matters is this: self-love is in the details.
Love yourself in the ways that make sense to you — and the world will follow.